Like most people, I wanted to see what it was about this book to make Ayatollah-Assholea tell every Muslim in the word to kill Salman Rushdie. Of course it is only because there is a depiction of Mohamed, and various other reasons concerning Islamic beliefs. I don't really remember the pope putting a hit out on Nikos Kazantzakis for THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST, or on Scorsese for making the same novel into one of the greatest films ever made.
That aside, it took me a long time to read this books, longer than it took me to read MIDDLESEX. It took a while to read it primarily because of my first semester of graduate school. Also, it is a long book. It is a book that is very cerebral. Mr. Rushdie's tale of the nature of good and evil is just short of being an epic. The only thing that keeps it from being epic is that it is not written in dactylic hexameter, or any other poetic rhythm for that matter. This is not a leisurely summer read, it is hardcore literary art. This book would have won a Pulitzer Prize, if Mr. Rushdie were American. He is British Indian for those curious. I think that he may be a good candidate for a Nobel Prize.
This is a novel that is difficult to describe. My experience with it may be different that your experience with it. That is what this book is; an experience. I learned a lot about Islam, India, and Indians living in London. The magical realism, that is what we call highbrow fantasy, works out so well. I am taken aback at the artistry that Mr. Rushdie possesses.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Up Coming Reviews
Not that anyone is following my blog yet, which you should be doing--but here is a list of books to be reviewed. Books that you will see me review soon include THE SATANIC VERSES by Salman Rushdie MOBY DICK by Herman Melville, FORBIDDEN COLORS by Yukio Mishima, MASTER AND COMMANDER by Patrick O'Brian, and CONTACT by Carl Sagan. They wont necessarily be in that order. The review of CONTACT will be interesting, as it is the first fiction book by Carl Sagan that I have read.
Twilight Pt. 4
You'd think a book with a baby trying to eat it's way out of the womb would be the greatest book ever written. Okay, maybe not you, but I sure as hell think it is awesome. The only thing that could have possible made it better would have been if Bella was knocked up by both Edward and Jacob so that the two fetuses could have an epic battle to the death inside the womb, but that would be ripping of The Toxic Avenger Part 4. I cant really complain much, because Meyer makes some of the same mistakes that she has made in the past three books. BREAKING DAWN is one of the better books. Not quite as good as ECLIPSE, but better than TWILIGHT and NEW MOON. The book is dedicated to some lame hipster band named Muse, which is fronted by a man who thinks the terror attacks of 9/11/01 were an inside job. And people like that should shampoo my crotch.
When last we left our heroes we talked about genetics. Apparently it is an extra chromosome, which means that any child between a werewolf and a human would be sterile. Sorry, but having vampires and werewolves running around isn't enough to ignore some basic science.
The book is divided into 3 different sections. Two from Bella's POV, and one from Jacob's POV. Being out of Bella's head was good. However, Jacob wasn't very much different. There was not enough distinction in the character's voices. Bella continues to ask to many questions to herself/us in the middle of situations which grows very tiring. So tiring that you just want to send her a box of wire hangers.
A bit of confusion came, because characters suddenly got nicknames. Jasper is now Jazz to half the family. Based on the guy that played him in the movie it should have been Harpo. There was apparently a sex scene in this book, but if you don't read the paragraph three times you would never know. And it is immediately followed by Edward talking about himself biting pillows.
Why are we being told "he cussed" so often? Just have the character cuss.
Lets talk about how stupid Bella is, because now I am just going to complain about all the stupid stuff. After she becomes a vampire she sees a mysterious 8th color at the end of the spectrum that she "doesn't have a name for" Well I have a name for it, how about "ultraviolet". Duuuuur. She names her kid Rennesme, or something stupid like that.
Im not going to bother with the imprinting thing. I thought it was a neat idea. The book was fast paced, even in the boring parts that drag out. I actually found the book to be quite humorous at times.
Oh vampires are fans of the University of Florida football team. That is neat.
Do lets talk about the absolute worse use of deus ex machina since thousands of letters to Santa Claus were dumped in front of a judge. We are about to see a battle that could be just as epic as The Battle of Five Armies, of course it wouldn't have been. Then Alice comes out of the woods and every one has to have a line of dialogue where they say her name. Everything is set right by what she brings to keep the two groups from fighting. After several chapters of building up to the epic climax they pull out and donkey punch you.
You know what. I'm done with this. Right when I actually started to enjoy the book, she does something that just make me want to pull my hair out. Not just the entire lack of climax, but other parts of the story that could have been explored. Jacob forming his own pack for example. That could have been a great story to expand. This book still reads like fan fiction, so I don't expect too much.
When last we left our heroes we talked about genetics. Apparently it is an extra chromosome, which means that any child between a werewolf and a human would be sterile. Sorry, but having vampires and werewolves running around isn't enough to ignore some basic science.
The book is divided into 3 different sections. Two from Bella's POV, and one from Jacob's POV. Being out of Bella's head was good. However, Jacob wasn't very much different. There was not enough distinction in the character's voices. Bella continues to ask to many questions to herself/us in the middle of situations which grows very tiring. So tiring that you just want to send her a box of wire hangers.
A bit of confusion came, because characters suddenly got nicknames. Jasper is now Jazz to half the family. Based on the guy that played him in the movie it should have been Harpo. There was apparently a sex scene in this book, but if you don't read the paragraph three times you would never know. And it is immediately followed by Edward talking about himself biting pillows.
Why are we being told "he cussed" so often? Just have the character cuss.
Lets talk about how stupid Bella is, because now I am just going to complain about all the stupid stuff. After she becomes a vampire she sees a mysterious 8th color at the end of the spectrum that she "doesn't have a name for" Well I have a name for it, how about "ultraviolet". Duuuuur. She names her kid Rennesme, or something stupid like that.
Im not going to bother with the imprinting thing. I thought it was a neat idea. The book was fast paced, even in the boring parts that drag out. I actually found the book to be quite humorous at times.
Oh vampires are fans of the University of Florida football team. That is neat.
Do lets talk about the absolute worse use of deus ex machina since thousands of letters to Santa Claus were dumped in front of a judge. We are about to see a battle that could be just as epic as The Battle of Five Armies, of course it wouldn't have been. Then Alice comes out of the woods and every one has to have a line of dialogue where they say her name. Everything is set right by what she brings to keep the two groups from fighting. After several chapters of building up to the epic climax they pull out and donkey punch you.
You know what. I'm done with this. Right when I actually started to enjoy the book, she does something that just make me want to pull my hair out. Not just the entire lack of climax, but other parts of the story that could have been explored. Jacob forming his own pack for example. That could have been a great story to expand. This book still reads like fan fiction, so I don't expect too much.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton
I am taking a break from the Twilight books to review a book that I read last week. Michael Crichton's posthumous publication PIRATE LATITUDES. It is said that the novel was found on his computer ready for publication at the time of this death. I have to say that I was satisfied. It is much better than his last two novels, NEXT and STATE OF FEAR. It is a historical thriller, much like his classic THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY. In it, a group of privateers and pirates go on a mission of conquer a Spanish fort, and steal precious booty from a ship that is using the harbor as a safe haven after it got separated from the convoy.
The historical context of the late 1600s doesn't keep Michael from getting a little bit of techno-thriller on us. One character makes primitive forms of grenades. Which is entirely possible, given the materials he had and his knowledge of explosives. Of course these grenades surprise everyone, since most of them have never seen anything like that before. It is a fun story with everything that makes pirate stories great; high seas adventure, island escapades, cannibals, a sea monster, and lesbians. It is quite humorous, and very exciting.
There were times when I had problems with point of view. It seemed to read as 3rd person omniscient, but then I realized that the character who's POV we are currently in would know this information. So it does seem to be 3rd limited after all.
I can't really complain too much about it. It was just a fun adventure. It is a perfect beach read, which makes its late Autumn release a bit sad. Most of the chapters are not very long, which makes it great to pick up and put down--but putting it down would be the hard part.
Each character does have his or her own distinct voice. Of course like most Michael Crichton I wondered where the reality and the fantasy melded. In PIRATE LATITUDES it seems that there was more reality than fantasy.
PIRATE LATITUDES won't take up much of your time. I suggest reading this book, if you are looking for a fun adventure.
The historical context of the late 1600s doesn't keep Michael from getting a little bit of techno-thriller on us. One character makes primitive forms of grenades. Which is entirely possible, given the materials he had and his knowledge of explosives. Of course these grenades surprise everyone, since most of them have never seen anything like that before. It is a fun story with everything that makes pirate stories great; high seas adventure, island escapades, cannibals, a sea monster, and lesbians. It is quite humorous, and very exciting.
There were times when I had problems with point of view. It seemed to read as 3rd person omniscient, but then I realized that the character who's POV we are currently in would know this information. So it does seem to be 3rd limited after all.
I can't really complain too much about it. It was just a fun adventure. It is a perfect beach read, which makes its late Autumn release a bit sad. Most of the chapters are not very long, which makes it great to pick up and put down--but putting it down would be the hard part.
Each character does have his or her own distinct voice. Of course like most Michael Crichton I wondered where the reality and the fantasy melded. In PIRATE LATITUDES it seems that there was more reality than fantasy.
PIRATE LATITUDES won't take up much of your time. I suggest reading this book, if you are looking for a fun adventure.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Twilight Series Pt. 3
In the third book of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series, ECLIPSE, we see the death of the inner monologue. I am surprised that it was able to hang on this long. To take a break in an important section of dialogue for Bella to say "That must have been...!" in my mind is just tedious. These inner monologues go on for several paragraphs before getting back into the conversation. Sometimes they separate a question and it's answer. This happens far too much and hurts the narrative, which actually is not too bad. Meyer is getting progressively better with each book. The dialogue is well paced, but has a lot of ping-pong going on, and usually absolutely no "he said" "she said" and sometimes it is unclear who the he and she are.
First I will say that this is where we first find out that the vampires don't have fangs.
Sure, in the other books they simply talked about their teeth. Fangs are a kind of tooth, I am sorry if I assumed that vampires had fangs.
Lets talk about character inconsistencies and changes. Isabella's father was a sheriff in the first book, a police chief in the second, and he is once again a sheriff in this one. Jacob Black's personality has changed drastically, so much so he is best represented by the lyric "Now you're messin' with a son of a bitch." Pun intended. So much so that at the end you think that he has run off to Twin Peaks to kill Laura Palmer.
More improper word use arises, chagrin is once again the common victim. Buoyant
Now once again she has many POV and tense changes. The worst part this time was were an entire chapter, only one chapter, used "had said". This goes along with the name inconsistencies, Bella uses multiple names for characters and this has been happening in each book.
Now, while I am on POV, you read me in the past saying that the books are 1st person from Isabella's POV. The Epilogue chapter in ECLIPSE switches to 1st person from Jacob's POV with no real warning, except the words "Jacob Black" above the first paragraph. This POV change is very risky and just doesn't work. It was refreshing to be in another person's head, I still felt it was Jacob from Isabella's POV, not Jacob from Jacob's POV. I probably would have been much nicer to this book if this didn't happen.
If you read this book, skip Chapter 16. It is just a graduation ceremony.
Meyer doesn't seem to know what humidity is. The 2 page vacation is Jacksonville, FL we are told that Isabella doesn't like the humidity. As opposed to Washington, where it is raining all the time--meaning it is always humid and much more humid than FL. Jeeze she is from Washington, Phoenix, and Jacksonville? No wonder she hates sports.
Obviously I don't have as much to say about this book, because I am bringing up mistakes that have been in the other two books. So lets talk about genetics.
That's right, genetics. Being a werewolf is hereditary. There is a werewolf gene. Now let's talk about what is needed for there to be a werewolf gene. It would require a mutation, because there is no werewolf gene--we know this because of the Human Genome Project. My Nucleic Biology is not as good as it should be, but a simple Google search can solve that for sure. Ok, so a new gene. Does that require a new chromosome? Chromosomes usually carry a large amount of genes, each pair varies. You could argue that the new gene would just be dumped into one of the established chromosomes, but I think it more likely that it would require a new chromosome pair, bringing the grand total to 48 chromosomes. I would like any of your opinions on this. Now the extra chromosome pair means that any offspring between the werewolf and a human would suffer abnormalities, much like when a donkey and a horse mate. Sure the book is fiction, and I know you cant bring dinosaurs back to life with blood in petrified mosquitoes, but this isn't a science fiction book--it is fantasy. Therefore it would have been easier to simply say that the old tribe stories are really how it happened, instead of trying to explain it away with pseudoscience. That was a pretty cool story. The origin stories have been some of the best parts of the book, except of course for the ones that are glossed over by saying "Well...you can pretty much figure out what happened then. It gets pretty bad"
I almost went Team Jacob this time. However, he became a real dick at times. He needs to, in the words of my friend Tupac Shakur, "Back the fuck up before he gets smacked the fuck up". It has hard not to sympathize with a guy that says what he thinks. Hell I don't have the best relationships with women, because I say exactly what I am thinking most of the time. I have to say that I am retiring from team Mike, and going for Team Jacob. Lets face it. Edward is one of those guys that likes a girl in high school, has sex with her at one point, then while in college he realizes that he is gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it is just really going to break Isabella's heart when it happens. Jacob on the other hand is nearly 7 feet of man meat. There is no argument there. Isabella would be more safe with Jacob. Jacob actually seems genuine when he tells her that he loves her. Edward just wants to tie her down while she is still young.
Final though: If the vampires are so cold, temperature wise, and hard as stone...Dr. Cullen must have a hell of a time giving prostate exams.
First I will say that this is where we first find out that the vampires don't have fangs.
Sure, in the other books they simply talked about their teeth. Fangs are a kind of tooth, I am sorry if I assumed that vampires had fangs.
Lets talk about character inconsistencies and changes. Isabella's father was a sheriff in the first book, a police chief in the second, and he is once again a sheriff in this one. Jacob Black's personality has changed drastically, so much so he is best represented by the lyric "Now you're messin' with a son of a bitch." Pun intended. So much so that at the end you think that he has run off to Twin Peaks to kill Laura Palmer.
More improper word use arises, chagrin is once again the common victim. Buoyant
Now once again she has many POV and tense changes. The worst part this time was were an entire chapter, only one chapter, used "had said". This goes along with the name inconsistencies, Bella uses multiple names for characters and this has been happening in each book.
Now, while I am on POV, you read me in the past saying that the books are 1st person from Isabella's POV. The Epilogue chapter in ECLIPSE switches to 1st person from Jacob's POV with no real warning, except the words "Jacob Black" above the first paragraph. This POV change is very risky and just doesn't work. It was refreshing to be in another person's head, I still felt it was Jacob from Isabella's POV, not Jacob from Jacob's POV. I probably would have been much nicer to this book if this didn't happen.
If you read this book, skip Chapter 16. It is just a graduation ceremony.
Meyer doesn't seem to know what humidity is. The 2 page vacation is Jacksonville, FL we are told that Isabella doesn't like the humidity. As opposed to Washington, where it is raining all the time--meaning it is always humid and much more humid than FL. Jeeze she is from Washington, Phoenix, and Jacksonville? No wonder she hates sports.
Obviously I don't have as much to say about this book, because I am bringing up mistakes that have been in the other two books. So lets talk about genetics.
That's right, genetics. Being a werewolf is hereditary. There is a werewolf gene. Now let's talk about what is needed for there to be a werewolf gene. It would require a mutation, because there is no werewolf gene--we know this because of the Human Genome Project. My Nucleic Biology is not as good as it should be, but a simple Google search can solve that for sure. Ok, so a new gene. Does that require a new chromosome? Chromosomes usually carry a large amount of genes, each pair varies. You could argue that the new gene would just be dumped into one of the established chromosomes, but I think it more likely that it would require a new chromosome pair, bringing the grand total to 48 chromosomes. I would like any of your opinions on this. Now the extra chromosome pair means that any offspring between the werewolf and a human would suffer abnormalities, much like when a donkey and a horse mate. Sure the book is fiction, and I know you cant bring dinosaurs back to life with blood in petrified mosquitoes, but this isn't a science fiction book--it is fantasy. Therefore it would have been easier to simply say that the old tribe stories are really how it happened, instead of trying to explain it away with pseudoscience. That was a pretty cool story. The origin stories have been some of the best parts of the book, except of course for the ones that are glossed over by saying "Well...you can pretty much figure out what happened then. It gets pretty bad"
I almost went Team Jacob this time. However, he became a real dick at times. He needs to, in the words of my friend Tupac Shakur, "Back the fuck up before he gets smacked the fuck up". It has hard not to sympathize with a guy that says what he thinks. Hell I don't have the best relationships with women, because I say exactly what I am thinking most of the time. I have to say that I am retiring from team Mike, and going for Team Jacob. Lets face it. Edward is one of those guys that likes a girl in high school, has sex with her at one point, then while in college he realizes that he is gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it is just really going to break Isabella's heart when it happens. Jacob on the other hand is nearly 7 feet of man meat. There is no argument there. Isabella would be more safe with Jacob. Jacob actually seems genuine when he tells her that he loves her. Edward just wants to tie her down while she is still young.
Final though: If the vampires are so cold, temperature wise, and hard as stone...Dr. Cullen must have a hell of a time giving prostate exams.
Twilight Series Pt. 2
Werewolf? There wolf! So I just finished the second book NEW MOON, and I have to say that it is a bit of an improvement on the last book. However, this is only in the same way that Police Academy 4 is an improvement over Police Academy 3. Now in my review if the first book I complained a lot about the use of adverbs, luckily in this installment there weren't quite as many, but there were still a lot. Again I will mainly be concentrating on Meyer's writing, and not stupid plot line, logical fallacies, and so forth.
Chapter 1 contains a lot of info dumps and box text that pretty much sums up the events of the prior novel. This is largely unnecessary. We don't need a "Last time on Twilight" section to make this feel like a poorly written 90210 episode for teenage gothic/emo girls. So you can scan over a lot of the larger paragraphs that are written in Isabella's tedious inner dialogue, which shows up throughout the entire novel. By the end of the book you want her to stop talking to herself, or directly to the reader--such as a time when she asks 5 questions in a row. A few characters have changed. Their personalities and voices are different. I mean, that is the best reason to not write sequels, but this is also the good thing about reading a series back to back is you notice inconsistencies in character development.
Her adverb problem isn't as large, but it is replaced with an equally bad problem; too many pronouns. It becomes confusing who is speaking and who is moving, especially when the narration gives very bad space, time, and location information.
Now here is where the book for my just turned to absolute crap. Stephen Meyer might have a degree from some loser college in Utah, but she must have done some very non-Mormon favors for that.
1. She calls a new moon and a lunar eclipse the same thing. Not only are these completely different, for a lunar eclipse to happen the moon must be full. Also I thought it was cloudy there, how the hell could anyone tell anyway?
2. If vampires are so cold, shouldn't Isabella get hypothermia?
3. Plants overgrow the Cullen yard after they abandon their home. This takes place in winter.
4. A werewolf's body temperature is 108-109 degrees Fahrenheit. This temperature causes them not to feel cold in cold weather, in fact they boast that they could stand naked in a snow storm. Common sense says, high temp means you will feel cold, even if it is hot outside.
5. This is from the last book, but I will throw it in. You cant suck venom out. Period.
6. Good luck trying to swim with a little water in your lungs, and then recovering in a day.
These are not minor discrepancies. These are worse mistakes than saying that a parsec is a measure of time, when it is actually a measure of distance. Even worse still, saying "jigawatt" instead of "gigawatt". These are worse, because they show failure of things people learn before the 6th grade. She could have easily Googled any of these.
Of Course we see Meyer's typical misuse of chagrin, but she adds a few new words to her list where she fancies herself a lexicographer. Examples: martyr, and subjective.
This was an improvement as compared to the last book. Again, I have to say that I would like this book more without the character of Isabella. She is a chronic compulsive liar, sexist towards men and women, and by Chapter 11 you realize just how morally bankrupt this book can make you when you yell out "Will someone just plug up Bella's empty hole all ready!" Since that was basically a line in the book. I was happy when she drowned, but then I turned the page and realized the book was only halfway begun.
Has my team changed? Nope. I am still sticking with Mike. One reason is that he isn't 110 years old and in love with a teenager. He really seems to be the only one with a real future. Edward and the rest of his group are nomads, it would be a pain to move that much when you don't have magic powers. As for Jacob, well we all know how our Federal government still keeps down the indigenous peoples of this continent. Reservations are practically third world countries, as you can tell by the vague descriptions of the dwellings. I wouldn't want to move into his broom closet. And he is only one argument from going in to a werewolf 'roid rage.
It had some decent dialogue, as long as it was between two distinct characters. Mainly Isabella and Jacob. Isabella and Edward dialogue is absolute crap. It wasn't too bad, to a point. It shows progression that Meyer is getting better, but still lapses into turning an otherwise fun story into absolute crap with bad dialogue, bad narration, poor word selection, and poor structure. You will read it and be like "Wow, this is starting to get good" until Isabella, without fail, goes on a rant about being a stupid woman, or something else that has to do with her irrational personality. There will be times where you will wonder what she looks like with no skin, not that you are ever given a description of what she looks like with skin beyond pale, just to break the dullness of her rambling. Oh, and her rambling is the same stuff every chapter. Usually the exact same words.
Chapter 1 contains a lot of info dumps and box text that pretty much sums up the events of the prior novel. This is largely unnecessary. We don't need a "Last time on Twilight" section to make this feel like a poorly written 90210 episode for teenage gothic/emo girls. So you can scan over a lot of the larger paragraphs that are written in Isabella's tedious inner dialogue, which shows up throughout the entire novel. By the end of the book you want her to stop talking to herself, or directly to the reader--such as a time when she asks 5 questions in a row. A few characters have changed. Their personalities and voices are different. I mean, that is the best reason to not write sequels, but this is also the good thing about reading a series back to back is you notice inconsistencies in character development.
Her adverb problem isn't as large, but it is replaced with an equally bad problem; too many pronouns. It becomes confusing who is speaking and who is moving, especially when the narration gives very bad space, time, and location information.
Now here is where the book for my just turned to absolute crap. Stephen Meyer might have a degree from some loser college in Utah, but she must have done some very non-Mormon favors for that.
1. She calls a new moon and a lunar eclipse the same thing. Not only are these completely different, for a lunar eclipse to happen the moon must be full. Also I thought it was cloudy there, how the hell could anyone tell anyway?
2. If vampires are so cold, shouldn't Isabella get hypothermia?
3. Plants overgrow the Cullen yard after they abandon their home. This takes place in winter.
4. A werewolf's body temperature is 108-109 degrees Fahrenheit. This temperature causes them not to feel cold in cold weather, in fact they boast that they could stand naked in a snow storm. Common sense says, high temp means you will feel cold, even if it is hot outside.
5. This is from the last book, but I will throw it in. You cant suck venom out. Period.
6. Good luck trying to swim with a little water in your lungs, and then recovering in a day.
These are not minor discrepancies. These are worse mistakes than saying that a parsec is a measure of time, when it is actually a measure of distance. Even worse still, saying "jigawatt" instead of "gigawatt". These are worse, because they show failure of things people learn before the 6th grade. She could have easily Googled any of these.
Of Course we see Meyer's typical misuse of chagrin, but she adds a few new words to her list where she fancies herself a lexicographer. Examples: martyr, and subjective.
This was an improvement as compared to the last book. Again, I have to say that I would like this book more without the character of Isabella. She is a chronic compulsive liar, sexist towards men and women, and by Chapter 11 you realize just how morally bankrupt this book can make you when you yell out "Will someone just plug up Bella's empty hole all ready!" Since that was basically a line in the book. I was happy when she drowned, but then I turned the page and realized the book was only halfway begun.
Has my team changed? Nope. I am still sticking with Mike. One reason is that he isn't 110 years old and in love with a teenager. He really seems to be the only one with a real future. Edward and the rest of his group are nomads, it would be a pain to move that much when you don't have magic powers. As for Jacob, well we all know how our Federal government still keeps down the indigenous peoples of this continent. Reservations are practically third world countries, as you can tell by the vague descriptions of the dwellings. I wouldn't want to move into his broom closet. And he is only one argument from going in to a werewolf 'roid rage.
It had some decent dialogue, as long as it was between two distinct characters. Mainly Isabella and Jacob. Isabella and Edward dialogue is absolute crap. It wasn't too bad, to a point. It shows progression that Meyer is getting better, but still lapses into turning an otherwise fun story into absolute crap with bad dialogue, bad narration, poor word selection, and poor structure. You will read it and be like "Wow, this is starting to get good" until Isabella, without fail, goes on a rant about being a stupid woman, or something else that has to do with her irrational personality. There will be times where you will wonder what she looks like with no skin, not that you are ever given a description of what she looks like with skin beyond pale, just to break the dullness of her rambling. Oh, and her rambling is the same stuff every chapter. Usually the exact same words.
Twilight Series Pt. 1
Well, I have decided to review the Twilight Series this week to cut out stress from finals. First of all I should say that I will not refer to it as a "saga", because it has an extraordinarily large lack of vikings--something that is necessary for a saga, and would have made it more enjoyable for me. I will not get into how silly I think the Twilight universe is, because that would be futile. This is simply a critique on Meyer's writing. I will also not complain too badly about characters that are deplorable, or any logical fallacies--which there are many of--but these will be hard to avoid at times. Today I will discuss the first book in the series. If I start acting like an editor it is because I have been talking too many workshop classes. I admit that even when I was a teenager I did not read much teen fiction, because it did not interest me. I had to read THE OUTSIDERS by S. E. Hinton for class, a novel that I enjoyed then--as well as now. This novel was published when she was only 16 or 17 years old.
Now I will talk about the use of adverbs, so that I can get it out of the way and not discuss it in the next installments of the reviews. Meyer's favorite seemed to me to be "Suddenly", which appears 92 times in the novel. I know this, because I am a pirate and downloaded .pdf files of the novels, and asked Adobe Reader how many times that word is in the novel. Granted, it is better than having "All of a sudden" show up 92 times.
However this does not over shadow her use of color adverbs, such as in Chapter 1, "The Air filtered down greenly" Now I understand that the 1st person narrative format allows for language such as this, but I will get to that later. Adverbs are a quick way of describing an action, and can have their place. However when used to describe every action in a novel, they do become tedious.
Now about the narrative. There are times that Isabella's descriptions carry more of a 3rd person omniscient quality. I saw many info dumps, and voice changes in the first few, and the last few chapters. She gives new meaning to the term "unreliable narrator". She presents herself as an honor role student, that is really into English, but she still ends a lot of her sentences with prepositions. I was a C student in high school, so I am allowed to do this, because it fits my personality. Early in the book she does not give much of a description of herself. Just a pale girl, with hair. It isn't until Chapter 7 that she mentions her hair is brown and curly, the same as her father's hair. This fits in with how often the narrative shifts within time, often without warning. It seems to me that a girl that is as intelligent as she leads us to believe would be able to have her thoughts compiled in a better fashion, instead of the LiveJournal format that we are presented. I was seriously waiting for her to say "LOL" in her sometimes tedious depositions that distract from the action.
Now not all of the novel was bad. There were a few scenes that were written well. The scenes that were written well were the ones that read like 3rd person limited. One of my notes mentioned that the book should have been written from that point of view. One thing is that Meyer liked to end most chapter's on a cliffhanger, which really helped the flow of the book. I found my favorite parts were the beginnings and endings of the chapters.
Now for one complaint about Isabella constantly blaming her hysteria for what happens. Seriously? She needs to stop reading that Victorian literature.
Moving on. I am almost out of steam, because finals have me exhausted. But before anyone asks if I am Team Jacob or Team Edward. I am neither. Edward is a possessive, creationist that hates music from the 60s and 70s, which makes him my sworn enemy. He is also nothing but pillow talk. Jacob's character has not been fully developed for me yet, so I will have to get into that after I read the next book. However, since both characters potentially want to eat me in the literal sense I can't go with either. I am on Team Mike so far. Why? Because he is the first person to try to be nice to Isabella, even knowing that she is the Sheriff's daughter. Being the child of a Sheriff in high school is like automatic exile, because all the kids will assume you are a narc. The fact that he had the balls to try to welcome her to the new town, do nice things for her, even while she was being a bitch says a lot about his quality.
That should do it for now. On the whole it was a good way to waste a few hours. It really is not an escapist novel at all. Twilight helped point out some mistakes in my writing. I actually edited a portion one of my finals that is due today to take out some adverbs.
Would I suggest it to a friend? If you have the time and nothing else to do, but want a book that you can put down and pick up easily then it could make a good addition to that pile of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader books that you have been through a thousand times.
Wait...What do the Cullens do when the high school girls are on their monthly cycles? That's what I call will power.
Now I will talk about the use of adverbs, so that I can get it out of the way and not discuss it in the next installments of the reviews. Meyer's favorite seemed to me to be "Suddenly", which appears 92 times in the novel. I know this, because I am a pirate and downloaded .pdf files of the novels, and asked Adobe Reader how many times that word is in the novel. Granted, it is better than having "All of a sudden" show up 92 times.
However this does not over shadow her use of color adverbs, such as in Chapter 1, "The Air filtered down greenly" Now I understand that the 1st person narrative format allows for language such as this, but I will get to that later. Adverbs are a quick way of describing an action, and can have their place. However when used to describe every action in a novel, they do become tedious.
Now about the narrative. There are times that Isabella's descriptions carry more of a 3rd person omniscient quality. I saw many info dumps, and voice changes in the first few, and the last few chapters. She gives new meaning to the term "unreliable narrator". She presents herself as an honor role student, that is really into English, but she still ends a lot of her sentences with prepositions. I was a C student in high school, so I am allowed to do this, because it fits my personality. Early in the book she does not give much of a description of herself. Just a pale girl, with hair. It isn't until Chapter 7 that she mentions her hair is brown and curly, the same as her father's hair. This fits in with how often the narrative shifts within time, often without warning. It seems to me that a girl that is as intelligent as she leads us to believe would be able to have her thoughts compiled in a better fashion, instead of the LiveJournal format that we are presented. I was seriously waiting for her to say "LOL" in her sometimes tedious depositions that distract from the action.
Now not all of the novel was bad. There were a few scenes that were written well. The scenes that were written well were the ones that read like 3rd person limited. One of my notes mentioned that the book should have been written from that point of view. One thing is that Meyer liked to end most chapter's on a cliffhanger, which really helped the flow of the book. I found my favorite parts were the beginnings and endings of the chapters.
Now for one complaint about Isabella constantly blaming her hysteria for what happens. Seriously? She needs to stop reading that Victorian literature.
Moving on. I am almost out of steam, because finals have me exhausted. But before anyone asks if I am Team Jacob or Team Edward. I am neither. Edward is a possessive, creationist that hates music from the 60s and 70s, which makes him my sworn enemy. He is also nothing but pillow talk. Jacob's character has not been fully developed for me yet, so I will have to get into that after I read the next book. However, since both characters potentially want to eat me in the literal sense I can't go with either. I am on Team Mike so far. Why? Because he is the first person to try to be nice to Isabella, even knowing that she is the Sheriff's daughter. Being the child of a Sheriff in high school is like automatic exile, because all the kids will assume you are a narc. The fact that he had the balls to try to welcome her to the new town, do nice things for her, even while she was being a bitch says a lot about his quality.
That should do it for now. On the whole it was a good way to waste a few hours. It really is not an escapist novel at all. Twilight helped point out some mistakes in my writing. I actually edited a portion one of my finals that is due today to take out some adverbs.
Would I suggest it to a friend? If you have the time and nothing else to do, but want a book that you can put down and pick up easily then it could make a good addition to that pile of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader books that you have been through a thousand times.
Wait...What do the Cullens do when the high school girls are on their monthly cycles? That's what I call will power.
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